Cludgie's Colossal Waste Of Time!

Another find, obviously not created by me – Wisdom From Training Manuals, some oldies here still amusing.

• ‘If the enemy is in range, so are you.’ - Infantry Journal-
• ‘It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just  bombed.’ - US.Air Force Manual -
• ‘Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword, obviously never encountered automatic weapons.’ – General MacArthur -
• ‘You, you, and you … Panic. The rest of you, come with me.’ - Infantry Sgt.-
• ‘Tracers work both ways.’- Army Ordnance Manual-
• Five second fuses last about three seconds.’- Infantry Journal -
• ‘The three most useless things in aviation are: Fuel in the bowser; Runway  behind you; and Air above you.’ -Basic Flight Training Manual-
• ‘Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once.‘- Naval Ops Manual -
• ‘Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.’- Unknown Infantry Recruit-
• ‘If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up to him.’- Infantry Journal-
• ‘Yea, Though I Fly Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I Shall Fear No Evil.  For I am at 50,000 Feet and Climbing.’ - Sign over SR71 Wing Ops-
• ‘You’ve never been lost until you’ve been lost at Mach 3.’ -Paul F. Crickmore (SR71 test pilot)-
• ‘The only time you have too much fuel is when you’re on fire.’-Unknown Author-
• ‘If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage it has to be a helicopter — and the refore, unsafe.’- Fixed Wing Pilot-
• ‘When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.’-Multi-Engine Training Manual-
• ‘Without ammunition, the Air Force is just an expensive flying club.’-Unknown Author-
• ‘If you hear me yell;”Eject, Eject, Eject!”, the last two will be echos.’If you stop to ask “Why?”, you’ll be talking to yourself, because by then you’ll be the pilot.’-Pre-flight Briefing from a Canadian F104 Pilot-
• ‘What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; but If ATC screws up, …. the pilot dies.‘-Sign over Control Tower Door-
• ‘Never trade luck for skill.’-Author Unknown-
• ‘The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in military aviation are:’Did you feel that?’ ‘What’s that noise?’ and’Oh S…!’-Authors Unknown-
• ‘Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.‘-Basic Flight Training Manual-
• ‘Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it.‘- Emergency Checklist-
• ‘The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world;  it can just barely kill you.’- Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot) -
• ‘There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.’ -Sign over Squadron Ops Desk at Davis-Montham AFB, AZ-
• ‘You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.’ - Lead-in Fighter Training Manual -