Cludgie's Colossal Waste Of Time!

This cant be correct

Mark — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 21:14:44 +0000

Some strange adds on my site recently,

If you cant see that, the add reads Glasgow To Edinburgh £548 inc vat
now, there are no flights between Glasgow and Edinburgh, and for that price I would take a limo. or err go to a nice sunny destination!!

NextGen Memory Limit

Mark — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 23:06:05 +0000

Tried to upload some photos tonight and was greeted with a Nextgen Memory Limit Error
now, nowt worse that trouble shooting late at night, after a few beers, anyway a quick google found what could be a fix, so far so bloody good click here or read on for the jist of it

“Follow thumbnails could not created. sample.jpg (Error : Exceed Memory limit. Require : 80.65 MByte)”

> Open an FTP connection to your root WordPress directory
> Open /wp-content/plugins/nextgen-gallery/lib/gd.thumbnail.inc.php with your favourite text editor
> On line #168 un-comment (remove the //) from before @ini_set(‘memory_limit’, ‘128M’);
> Save and upload changes
> Delete image/s that failed to generate a thumbnail and re-upload using NextGEN Gallery’s standard Upload Images feature

This seems to have worked here, phew! but shall test more

Plants vs Zombies, Music Video

Mark — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 17:40:55 +0000

There’s a Zombie on your lawn

hehehe, great iPhone game… Finished it now, what can I play now?

Tigers, Koala and a Penguin Vids

Mark — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 10:59:21 +0000

Two videos from Edinburgh Zoom Tigers and Penguins.. new photos will follow.

Love the tigers eyes, looks like a crazy cat who would eat you given half a chance.

I have a few other videos, but will leave them for another day. (monkies!!)

More Idiots

Mark — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 10:43:26 +0000

Idiots, Muppets, eejits, morons…. call them what you may, here are some stories.
(probably not true, but meh, here they are anyway)

#1
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a “large” enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, “Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.” I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, “No, it’s not. Four is larger than two.” We haven’t used Sears repair since.

#2
My daughter and I went through the McDonald’s take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, “you gave me too much money.” I said, “Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.” She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said “We’re sorry, but we could not do that kind of thing.” The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.Do not confuse the clerks at McD’s.

#3
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: “Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.”

#4
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for “minimal lettuce.” He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

#5
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, “Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?” To which I replied, “If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?” He smiled knowingly and nodded, “That’s why we ask.”

#6
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it’s safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, “What on earth are blind people doing driving?”

#7
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear co-worker, who was leaving the company due to “downsizing”, our manager commented cheerfully, “This is fun. We should do this more often.” Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

#8
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn’t understand why her system would not turn on.

#9
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. “Hey,” I announced to the technician, “its open!” His reply: “I know. I already got that side.”

found in a usenet group

Plants V Zombies

Mark — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 18:02:57 +0000

This is a great wee iPhone/iPod game. strategically place plants around the garden to protect your house from a zombie attack. £1.79 from the app store

Click here for a review in the Guardian…. Go get it, its brilliant!!!

Tiger Uppercut

Mark — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 21:17:05 +0000

I took this photo today, February 19th 2010. A beautiful Tiger who lives in Edinburgh Zoo.
Watch this space for more photos.

Who’s a pretty Kitty cat

Racoon

Mark — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 21:06:21 +0000

Is That a racoon in your Jeans, or are you just please to see me?

‘ello

Mark — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 15:47:47 +0000

Found this stuning photo of a seal…. pretty cool!! unfortunatly, I did not take it…..

Wisdom From Training Manuals

Mark — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 10:57:10 +0000

Another find, obviously not created by me – Wisdom From Training Manuals, some oldies here still amusing.

‘If the enemy is in range, so are you.’ - Infantry Journal-
‘It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.’ - US.Air Force Manual -
‘Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword, obviously never encountered automatic weapons.’ – General MacArthur -
‘You, you, and you … Panic. The rest of you, come with me.’ - Infantry Sgt.-
‘Tracers work both ways.’- Army Ordnance Manual-
Five second fuses last about three seconds.’- Infantry Journal -
‘The three most useless things in aviation are: Fuel in the bowser; Runway behind you; and Air above you.’ -Basic Flight Training Manual-
‘Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once.‘- Naval Ops Manual -
‘Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.’- Unknown Infantry Recruit-
‘If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up to him.’- Infantry Journal-
‘Yea, Though I Fly Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 50,000 Feet and Climbing.’ - Sign over SR71 Wing Ops-
‘You’ve never been lost until you’ve been lost at Mach 3.’ -Paul F. Crickmore (SR71 test pilot)-
‘The only time you have too much fuel is when you’re on fire.’-Unknown Author-
‘If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage it has to be a helicopter — and the refore, unsafe.’- Fixed Wing Pilot-
‘When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.’-Multi-Engine Training Manual-
‘Without ammunition, the Air Force is just an expensive flying club.’-Unknown Author-
‘If you hear me yell;”Eject, Eject, Eject!”, the last two will be echos.’If you stop to ask “Why?”, you’ll be talking to yourself, because by then you’ll be the pilot.’-Pre-flight Briefing from a Canadian F104 Pilot-
‘What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; but If ATC screws up, …. the pilot dies.‘-Sign over Control Tower Door-
‘Never trade luck for skill.’-Author Unknown-
‘The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in military aviation are:’Did you feel that?’ ‘What’s that noise?’ and’Oh S…!’-Authors Unknown-
‘Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.‘-Basic Flight Training Manual-
‘Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it.‘- Emergency Checklist-
‘The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you.’- Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot) -
‘There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.’ -Sign over Squadron Ops Desk at Davis-Montham AFB, AZ-
‘You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.’ - Lead-in Fighter Training Manual -