THE HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY
Again, we have released the solution to Hitchhiker’s Guide to the
Galaxy on an earlier Doc Disk (Number 1), but again, it was not as
complete and descriptive as this file, so we have included this
file for the crazed adventurers who wanted that little bit more.
Put your “DON’T PANIC!” button on your gown, grab your towel and get
ready to don those peril sensitive sunglasses because you’re about to go
on one of the strangest adventures from Infocom to date: THE HITCHHIKER’S
GUIDE TO THE GALAXY!
You wake up and notice everything is dark…have you gone blind? No,
just turn on the lights. Oooh, your aching head! You realize you must’ve
had just one drink too many at the party last night. Time to get out of
bed. Stand up, get your gown and put it on. As you do, you notice
something in your pocket. All this activity isn’t helping your hangover
any, so look in your pocket. Ah, an analgesic! Take the analgesic.
Feeling better? Good! Now get the screwdriver and the toothbrush. Oh!
What was that noise? What’s that big, yellow bulldozer doing out there?
Better go outside and find out!
Go south to your front porch, collect your mail, and south to your
front yard. The big, yellow bulldozer is heading straight for you! And
this lunatic is shouting at you to get the hell out of the way! Don’t
Panic! Humanity hasn’t gone completely insane, just lie down in front of
the bulldozer. The driver (who’s getting Union Scale wages) doesn’t mind
this minor inconvenience and stops the ‘dozer within inches of you!
As Prosser madly waves his arms about and shouts at you, you see your
friend, Ford Prefect, hurrying toward you. Now what does he want? Oh,
he’s come to return the towel he borrowed from you. Nope, don’t take it.
As Ford insists on returning the towel, you tell him about your house
and Prosser’s intentions. Ford, who was about ready to leave the Earth
(which is being demolished to make way for a new Hyperspace Bypass),
decides, insanely, to take you with him! But seeing that you’re not
about to budge until your house’s future has been assured, goes to
Prosser, gesticulates toward you and the bulldozer, and convinces
Prosser to take your place in the mud. What a friend! The bulldozer
driver, in the meantime, sits calmly and dreams of overtime.
After you’ve regained your feet, take the towel from Ford and go south
and west with Ford into the Pub. Buy a cheese sandwich from the barman,
drink the three beers Ford has given you, and listen as he explains
what’s about to happen to the Earth. Somehow, the situation regarding
your house keeps creeping back into your mind, and Ford’s words make
little sense to you. All of a sudden, you hear a crashing sound that can
only be the death throes of your poor house being demolished! Get up and
A small dog comes yapping up to you. It’s obvious the poor thing hasn’t
eaten in several days. The humanitarian within you surfaces. Give the
cheese sandwich to the dog. The poor, ravenous thing is in puppy heaven!
As it devours the meal you’ve provided, it completely ignores a
microscopic space fleet that just happens to be passing by at the
moment! No time to wonder about this miracle, though. Go north and wait.
Now look! Overhead, you see huge yellow machinery that amazingly
resembles monstrously oversized bulldozers! Good God! What’s happening?
Suddenly, gale-force winds blow across the landscape, whipping trees
around! Ford appears by your side and is fumbling around with a strange
looking device! The thing your Aunt gave you tumbles away, but the wind
is blowing so hard you can’t get it!
Ford drops the device and it lands at your feet. He seems to be trying
to tell you something, but the wind carries his words away! Pick up the
device and examine it. You see red and green lights and note that it’s
curiously shaped. It appears to be shaped like a hitchhiker’s thumb!
Quickly push the green button and everything goes….
Dark. You will find yourself spending a lot of time in the dark in this
game, so get used to the series of events you have to follow in order to
see where you are. Do “looks” (which takes fewer moves than “waits”).
Each “DARK” sequence takes 4 looks until you regain one of your missing
senses. When you recover that sense, perform it. If you can see, type
“SEE”. If you can hear, type “LISTEN”. If you can smell, type “SMELL”.
If you can feel, type “FEEL”. If you can taste, type “TASTE”. Right now,
though, your 4 LOOKS will tell you that you have regained your sense of
Smell the shadowy figure and then look at the figure. Ah, it’s Ford and
you find that the Sub-Etha Signalling Device has landed you a ride on
one of the Vogon Construction Ships! Ford hands you some peanuts to
replace the energy you lost during the hitchhiking transfer. Eat the
peanuts then look around you. What a disgusting place this is! But there
are a few interesting items here which you will explore as soon as Ford
decides to take his nap. Before he does, he hands you an odd contraption
and tells you it’s THE HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY and that it
contains all sorts of useful information. After Ford nods off, remove
your gown and hang it on the hook, cover the drain with your towel, get
Ford’s satchel and put it in front of the panel and put your junk mail
on top of the satchel. I’ve had you do this correctly so that you can
get the Babel Fish the first time. You might want to save your game and
try getting the Babel Fish without putting the junk mail on the satchel,
just so you can see what happens. Now, examine the dispensing machine
and consult the Guide about Babel Fish.
You learn that Babel Fish, when placed firmly in one’s ear, are
universal translating devices! Flip the switch on the glass case that’s
housing the Plotter. Strange words issue forth, but it’s all garbled and
you can’t understand one syllable of it! Better get a Babel Fish pretty
soon! Push the button on the dispensing machine and watch the circus! As
the Babel Fish comes flying out of the chute, a tiny cleaning robot
comes skittering across the room. The Babel Fish hits the gown, slides
down the sleeve and lands on the towel (which is covering the drain).
The little robot grabs the Babel Fish and goes tearing across the room
toward its service panel. Just as it gets there, it smacks into Ford’s
satchel and loses its grip on the Babel Fish! The Babel Fish and the
junk mail go flying up into the air where an upper-half-of-the-room
cleaning robot is frantically gathering up the junk mail! So intent is
it upon the mail that the Babel Fish falls and lands in your ear!
SQUISH! Who said junk mail was useless!
Now, flip the switch on the glass case again. It will tell you how to
open the case so that you can get the Sub-Atomic Plotter. Poetry? Ah
well, worse things could happen. Write down which word of the poetry
you’ll have to type in because it changes from game to game; and if you
type in the wrong word, you’ll blow yourself to teensy little bits! Get
your robe and the towel. Ford will get his satchel. Put your gown back
on and put everything you’re carrying into the Thing your Aunt gave you
(yes, it came back…it will ALWAYS come back to you, no matter how many
times you try to lose it!) and put the Thing in your robe pocket. By
now, you should be hearing warnings about hitchhikers coming over the
intercom system. Just wait until the guards come for you.
Eventually, the Vogons will find you and take you to the Vogon Captain,
who is a cruel cuss! He’ll subject you to his poetry, but don’t panic!
Just sit back, relax and enjoy it. Literally! Enjoy the Poetry. So
gratified is the Captain by your enjoyment, that he decides to read you
the second verse! Now listen carefully, and when he reads the word the
glass case told you about, write it down. He appears impressed that
you’ve been able to withstand his poetry; and instead of killing you and
Ford outright, he decides to “space” you! Argh! This is better than
death? You betcha!
Pretty soon, you’re going to type something in wrong along the way.
Your typing error has been noted, and sometime soon, you’ll get the
results of your foolish error! It seems that those erroneous words have
started some sort of space war that has destroyed an entire world! The
remaining members of that doomed civilization are not happy about it
either, and they’re out gunning for you!
When you’re returned to the hold, type the word from the poetry on the
keyboard of the case. The case opens and the plotter is yours! Take the
plotter. (If your load is too heavy, put everything you’re carrying into
the Thing and put the Thing in your pocket.) Ford tries to talk the
guard into letting you both go free, but the guard will have none of
that and throws you and Ford into the Airlock. Ford sits pondering your
respective fates and comes up with an equation about the probability of
being picked up by another ship in the vicinity. Unfortunately, the odds
aren’t too good and as you and Ford are unceremoniously sucked out into
space, the Guide bleeps to life and says that you can hyperventilate in
space for 29 seconds before you explode! Ugh! Just as you reach your 29
second limit, you’re picked up by a passing ship and find yourself in
Dark! Talk about miracles! Go through the “LOOK” routine and eventually
you regain your sense of hearing. LISTEN. You hear a sound to port, but
as you try to go port, you find that the program is lying to you!
Instead go south. Aha! You find yourself on the Heart of Gold (HOG)!
Ignore the brochure, it’s not important, and let Ford lead you to the
Bridge. When you get there, you see two strangers (who begin to look
familiar). Hmmm, Trillian and that two-headed guy with her were at that
party last night! They greet Ford and eventually all three of them head
port, leaving you quite alone. Get the pincers, the Pocket Fluff from
your gown’s pocket, the handbag and put them in the Thing. Drop the
plotter and the Sub-Etha Signalling Device and go down and aft three
As you try to go aft the third time, the program asks you if you really
want to go in there. Tell it YES. It asks if you’re serious! Tell it YES
again! The program will decide you really didn’t mean it and take you
fore. Go aft twice. The program will ask you if you want to reconsider.
Tell it NO. Be persistant and eventually, you will be allowed to enter
the doorway. As if not letting you enter wasn’t enough, now the program
will tell you there’s really nothing here to see. Again, it’s lying, so
look two times. Aha! There’s a rasp, pliers and a Spare Improbability
Drive here! Get the rasp and pliers, put them in the Thing, put the
Thing in your pocket and get the Drive.
Eventually, you’ll meet Marvin, the Paranoid Android. He’ll depress the
heck out of you, but there’s nothing you can do about that. He wanders
in and out, but just ignore him for now. His use will be made known at
the end of the game.
Now go fore twice and port to the Galley. Look in the carton, get the
gun and put the gun in the Thing. Now for some Brownian Motion (consult
the Guide about this). Touch the pad and the machine whirrs a few
seconds, then shoots a cup of Alternate Tea Substitute into the chute.
Take the cup, go starboard and up to the Bridge. Drop the Drive and the
Cup of Tea Substitute. Let’s get this contraption going!
Put the small plug in the small receptacle and put the long dangly bit
in the Tea Substitute. You’re all set to begin some pretty far-out
experiences! Since flipping the switch on the Plotter will take you to
five random scenarios, they will be explained in separate sections of
this walkthru. You may find yourself visiting one of the scenarios a
second time, but you won’t be able to do anything in them. You’re
automatically taken back to the dark and there’s nothing to do but run
through your “LOOK” routine. So flip the switch and you find yourself in
Dark. Do the “LOOK” routine until you find your sense of hearing then
LISTEN. It seems you’ve been returned to the HOG because you hear a
sound to port. Again, the program’s lying, so go aft instead. Hey…this
isn’t the HOG! You see an awl laying here, so get the awl and put it in
the Thing. Wait a minute…Who are these guys? They seem to be in deep
conversation. Listen to their conversation. Uh-oh, YOU seem to the be
the topic of discussion! Seems like that small galaxy you wiped out with
your careless typing has finally figured out what happened and is
speeding toward Earth to do likewise! Just as the Vl’hurgs and G’guvunts
arrive, they spy a huge dog tearing into a cheese sandwich! As the fleet
gets closer, the dog ignores it and finishes its meal. The obvious
happiness of the dog is not lost on the aliens and with softened hearts,
they head toward home, forgiving (and depositing you) along the way. But
WHERE are you? You seem to have materialized inside your own brain! The
confusion in here is obvious because no matter where you go, you can’t
get anywhere. Just keep ploughing along (it doesn’t matter which way you
go, all directions are the same) until you find a dark particle.
Examining it reveals it to be your Common Sense! Take your common sense
and suddenly you find yourself in the….
Dark. “LOOK” until you regain your sense of hearing, then LISTEN and go
aft twice and up to the Bridge. Make sure that the Awl is safely tucked
in the Thing. Flip the switch. As you do so, you find yourself in
Dark. “LOOK” until you regain your sense of sight then SEE. A bright
light is shining in your eyes. Look at the light and you find yourself
looking at an alien sun! But IS it really? Type “WHO AM I” and you see
that you’re no longer Arthur Dent, but Zaphod Beeblebrox, President of
the Universe! And you also discover that you’re sitting in a speedboat
which is currently heading toward some mighty rough looking rocks!
Quickly steer the boat toward the spires. Now then, while you’re waiting
to arrive, look under the seat and get the key and the seat cushion
fluff. Also take the tool box. Now, just wait until you get to
the…wait a second! Those spires are getting closer and closer and the
boat doesn’t appear to be slowing down any! Just in the nick of time,
the auto-pilot activates itself and brings you safely to shore! Stand up
and get out of the boat.
As you step to the Dais, a wildly cheering crowd greets you! Fools!
Don’t they realize you’re not here to dedicated the Heart of Gold, but
to steal it? Ha! Wait until Trillian shows up and starts the charade. As
she grabs you around your neck, rifle-brandishing guards rush onto the
scene! As calmly as you can, tell the guards to drop their rifles.
Trillian may hiss nasty remarks about your ineptitude in your ear, but
ignore her. Now then, to complete your plan, tell Trillian to shoot the
rifles that the guards have dropped! The crowd, deeply impressed, cheers
wildly! Don’t take time to take any bows, though, just head east and you
find yourself in the….
Dark. “LOOK” until you regain your sense of hearing, then head aft
twice and down. Here you find the tool box, key, and seat cushion fluff.
Unlock the tool box with the key. Inside you find a magnifying glass and
a wrench. Put these two tools, the key, and the seat cushion fluff in
the thing. Go up, fore and up to the Bridge. Flip the switch and you
find yourself in the….
Dark. “LOOK” until you regain your sense of smell, then SMELL. Ugh!
What a repulsive odor that shadow has! Look at the shadow and you find
yourself face to face with the stupidest creature in the Universe: The
dreaded Bugblatter Beast of Traal! (Consult the Guide for further
information about its stupidity.) As it roars toward you, it demands to
know your name! Tell it that your name is DENT, then beat feet east! No
time to linger! Get the stones you see here and then put your towel over
your head. The Beast is so incredibly dense, it believes that if you
can’t see it, it can’t see you! While it’s trying to remember where you
are, take this opportunity to add your name to the memorial that has the
names of all the poor souls who’ve been unfortunate enough to have been
invited for dinner by the Beast. After carving your name on the
memorial, the Beast (still living up to its reputation) looks at the
memorial; and seeing your name carved there, decides that it must’ve
eaten you already and curls up in its lair for a post-dinner snooze!
Remove your towel from your head and go back west and southwest to the
Beast’s Inner Lair. Reposing here, in eternal rest, is an alien skeleton
clutching a Nutrimat Interface in its hand! Get the Interface and wait.
Suddenly you find yourself captured and placed in a cage in a zoo!
Amazingly, you’ve been mistaken for the Bugblatter Beast! The nerve!
Eventually, the zoo’s error is duly discovered and you’re released.
Unfortunately, instead of being returned to the HOG, you’ve been given
work as a paint scraper! After several months of experience, you are
allowed to leave your job and take with you the tool of your trade…a
paint chipper! Suddenly your surroundings shift and you find yourself in
Dark. “LOOK” until you regain your sense of hearing, then LISTEN and go
aft twice and port to the Galley. Open the Nutrimat panel, remove the
circuit board and put the Interface in the panel. Close the panel and go
starboard and up to the bridge. Put the chipper in the Thing, flip the
switch and you find yourself in the….
Dark. “LOOK” until you regain your sense of feeling, then FEEL. Odd,
you seem to have your hand in some sort of liquid. Taste the liquid and
you take a sip of a nice white wine. It seems you’re at a party! “WHO AM
I” reveals that you’re Trillian and this bore by the name of Arthur Dent
is standing here trying to pick you up. Look at Arthur and you see a
piece of Jacket Fluff on his lapel. Hmmm, you seem to need another hand,
so drop the plate and the wine, take the fluff from Arthur’s jacket and
put it in your handbag. Arthur is so moved by your interest in his
appearance that he becomes even more annoying (if that’s possible!).
To add to your dismay, you see the hostess approaching you! She’s been
known to put people out of their misery with her small talk! Now she’s
insisting that you pick up your plate and glass. Better do so or she’ll
bore you to death! Say, who’s THAT handsome fellow? Phil? Well, anyone’s
more interesting than Arthur right now, so close your purse and follow
Phil. Arthur (the dear man), follows you. Phil, noticing your
discomfort, takes you by the shoulder, says some unkind words for
Arthur’s benefit, and takes you away from the party. What an interesting
form of transportation Phil has with him! As he guides you into its
interior, you find yourself in the….
Dark. “LOOK” until you regain your sense of hearing then LISTEN and go
south and up to the bridge. Open the handbag, get the Jacket Fluff and
the Tweezers and put both items in the Thing. Drop the handbag and flip
the switch. As your surroundings change you find yourself in the….
Dark. “LOOK” until you regain your sense of sight, then SEE. Through
your squinting eyes, you can see a bright light. Look at the light and
you find yourself back on Earth hurrying toward your friend, Arthur’s,
house! Go north. You are amazed to see Arthur prostrate in the mud in
front of a bulldozer! No time to worry about Arthur and his problems
right now. You’ve got to give him back his towel and get the heck out of
here before the Vogons arrive to demolish the Earth. Open the satchel,
get the Satchel Fluff, the Towel and the Sub-Etha Signalling Device.
Close the Satchel and offer the towel to Arthur. As you do so, you
realize how much you’ll miss Arthur and what a complete, uh what’s the
word? IDIOT! Yes, idiot you’re being trying to give Arthur his towel at
this moment of turmoil in his life. With calming words to Arthur, go to
Prosser and tell Prosser to lie down in the mud in Arthur’s place. Some
softness in your head has made you decide to take Arthur with you! As
Arthur stands up, go south and west to the Pub. Buy beer and peanuts and
drink three beers.
As you’re explaining what’s going to happen to the Earth, Arthur seems
wrapped up in his house problems so much that he hardly hears you. And
when the crash of his house comes wafting through the open doof of the
Pub, Arthur jumps up and races out the door. Go east. You see Arthur
stop long enough to feed a cheese sandwich to a small, starving dog,
then he rushes north. Go north and drop the satchel. Now put the Satchel
Fluff on top of the satchel. As you stand there watching Arthur bemoan
the fate of his house, a gale-force wind whips across the landscape and
the Vogon (true to their famous timing) Construction Ships arrive! As
you try to reach Arthur’s side, the Sub-Etha Signalling Device falls
from your hand and lands at Arthur’s feet! Although you try to tell
Arthur to push the green signalling button, your words never reach him!
You watch in fascinated horror as he picks up the device, looks at it
for a few seconds, then pushes one of its buttons. Everything fades from
view and you find yourself in the….
Dark. “LOOK” until you regain your sense of hearing, then LISTEN and go
aft and up to the bridge. You see Ford’s satchel sitting here and on top
of it is the Satchel Fluff! Take the satchel, then take the Satchel
Fluff. Put the Satchel Fluff in the Thing and drop the satchel. Flip the
switch again and as everything disappears, you find yourself in the….
“LOOK” until you regain your sense of hearing, then LISTEN and go aft
and port to the Galley. It’s time to tidy up all these loose ends and
bring the HOG succesfully and safely to the legendary world of
Magrathea. After all the travelling you’ve been doing, your source of
Brownian Motion has about had it! So let’s go back to the Nutrimat and
get another cup of tea!
Touch the pad on the Nutrimat. As it whirrs to life, it gets completely
confused regarding what it is you want and asks Eddie, the ship’s
computer, to lend it a hand. Eddie, in the meantime, has issued a
warning that he’s becoming overloaded with instructions and starts to
panic! All around you, you hear shouts of anger, fear, hostility! Don’t
wait around for your tea, though! Go starboard and back up to the
Bridge. When you arrive, you see that the HOG has, indeed, reached
Magrathea! But the planet’s inhabitants aren’t to thrilled with this
supposed invasion. Out the viewing screen, you see hundreds upon
hundreds of missiles headed toward the HOG! No wonder everyone’s
panicking! Put the large plug in the large receptacle and flip the
switch! As you watch the viewing screen in horror, you see the missiles
turn into giant, harmless sperm whales! Ford, Trillian and Zaphod
congratulate you on your fast thinking and return to their sauna,
leaving you alone once more. (Whew…that was a CLOSE call!)
Go down and port back to the Galley. Sitting in the chute is a cup of
Real Tea! Obviously the previous circuit board didn’t know the molecular
structure of real tea and the new Interface did! Get the real tea. As
you pick it up, you find you’ve dropped no tea. Get No Tea. Wow…this
is truly amazing! Well, no time to wonder about this for long, so go
starboard and back up to the Bridge. Remove the long dangly bit from the
tea substitute and drop your real tea. Put the long dangly bit in the
real tea, drop everything except the Babel Fish and the Thing and flip
the switch. Strangely, you find yourself in the….
Dark. “LOOK” until you regain your sense of touch, then FEEL. Your hand
seems to be in some sort of liquid. Taste the liquid. UGH! It tastes
like Whale Juice! My God! You’re in the tummy of a giant Sperm Whale!
Sitting here is a flowerpot. Get the pot, put it in the Thing and keep
trying to go north until you find yourself back in the….
Dark. “LOOK” until you regain your sense of hearing, then LISTEN and go
aft twice and up to the Bridge. By now you should have all four fluffs.
Plant the fluffs, one at a time, in the pot. Wait until the fluffs start
to sprout and you see a tiny stem in the pot. (Consult the Guide about
Fluffs and required growing conditions.) Hmmmm, warmth and moisture?
That steam coming from port might just do the trick! Go port. In a
couple of hours, you emerge a changed man with a changed plant! Examine
the plant and you see it has, indeed, had a fit of furious growth! It
has also produced a fruit! Take the fruit and eat it.
In addition to the wonderful flavor of the fruit, you find yourself
having a dream about Marvin, the broken Hatch Mechanism and Marvin
asking you to hand him a tool. Remember that tool (it changes from game
to game). As your dream fades, drop everything except the Babel Fish. If
you find that you haven’t got the tool that the dream told you about,
Don’t Panic! You’ll find it in Marvin’s Pantry (which is behind the
Screening Door). If you do have it, though, get the required tool, the
Real Tea (and pick up your No Tea!), and go up and aft to the Screening
Door. If you fooled with trying to open this door at the beginning of
the game, you know that it needs proof of your intelligence before it
will allow you to open it.
What better proof than the fact that you’re carrying Tea and No Tea at
the same time!? Open the door. In your encounters with Marvin you have
felt his waves of depression pouring over you whenever he enters the
room. Well, right through this door is the absolute soul of his
depression! Better drink something to calm you before you enter here, so
drink the Real Tea! Your quest for Real Tea was not wasted. The tea is
the most calming, wonderful substance you’ve ever tasted! Go port
through the door.
If you didn’t have the required tool, you should see it here. Also here
is Marvin, moross and despondent as usual. Tell Marvin to fix the Hatch.
He’ll grumble about nagging humans, but will tell you to meet him in the
Hatch Mechanism Access in 12 turns. After he leaves (and you’re sure you
have the required tool), go starboard and down. Drop everything you’re
carrying except the Babel Fish and the required tool and go starboard
After waiting awhile, Marvin will stalk into the room and look at the
Mechanism. When he asks you to hand him the tool, do so. In short order,
he repairs the Hatch Mechanism and leaves. Go port, open the Hatch and
Timidly, you step down the steps. Eddie says something about humans who
go out into strange environments without any clothing; but Zaphod,
Trillian and Ford all urge your forward! As you plant your first step on
the hitherto legendary planet of Magrathea, you wonder what fate awaits
you! You’ll have to wait to find out…in the sequel, perhaps?